![]() "What am I supposed to do about it? The old fart has a mind of his own." Edgar Nice burrowed deeper into his office chair. "The idiot won't come down from the trees." "What is the problem this time? Another website infringing? Another unauthorized story? What?" When the narrow-faced secretary scowled, the weary author gestured helplessly. "Yeah? Well, as long as the Ratnaz animation project is in the air, you better damn well find time to deal with problems." "I don't have time for problems, I'm on a deadline." The old Royal shook from the force of his precise blows on well-worn keytops. "Howzat? A problem?" The old man looked up from the archaic typewriter which had been making a noisy rattle. Hell, even if it is true, I'm not making the effort to change the names. It is unique, sometimes interesting, but hardly credible. The tale was fascinating, to say the least, and it is presented here. ![]() I went home and inserted the disk in a rickety 386 monochrome dinosaur and read an agent's narrative, some 508,000 bytes in size. Leave it to the government to buy foreign data storage materials. He handed me a floppy, a standard 3.5 inch 1.44 megabyte Fuji, and then he was gone, after hitting me up for a five spot. Another beer and an interested expression prodded the man to reveal secrets hacked from an improperly secured terminal at CIA headquarters. When I started to rise, the well-lubricated fellow offered a "name" for the source, which suddenly intrigued me. The bum suckered me as host for as long as he could until my patience wore thin. I listened with half-an-ear, my attention more squarely centered on the seductive waitress who tended our table. I can't think of anybody who'd take credit for the validity of the fantastic tale which ensued, outside of a Hollywood screen writer. ![]() I got this story for the price of a cheap beer from a fellow who couldn't wait to tell it. The authors are: Tangor and JoN (David Bruce Bozarth and Bill Hillman) Enter The Ratnaz Files Files at your own peril! THE RATNAZ FILES PART I This action will not make The Ratnaz Files load any faster but is exactly what the Lord of the Leaves would do! We do suggest you shake your fist at the computer screen. The authors assume no responsibilty regarding your health issues and laugh that you have any interest at all in reading this extraordinary complilation of drivel. Please be impatient if you are a dialup user! Feel free to Rant, Rave, or Vent in colorful language. If you are of brave heart (and also have too much time on your hands) read on. All fractures of ribs laughing are your repsonsibility. ![]() The Ratnaz Files is an epic tale of parody written by two giants of fandom with too much time on their hands. ![]()
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